On Being Bicultural in the USA: February 2011

Nine years ago, I was getting ready to make my way to Methodist Hospital to meet my beautiful twins. Nine years. It feels like a lifetime. It feels like yesterday. The story of how these two made their ways into our lives and our hearts is another story of faith. Rewind about 10 years.

Isaac was about to turn two, and we had started the conversation about when to add Baby #2 to our family. My health insurance had changed, and my obgyn was not covered under the current plan. I landed with Dr. G midway through my pregnancy with Isaac. He took such great care of me, and I loved the practice so much so, that I decided Dr. G would deliver all my children. If I couldn't have my doc, then I didn't want to continue the conversation. Rare in this day and age to have the same doc deliver all your kids. I know.

I was attending a Bible Study at that time where we were encouraged to think of something in our lives that seemed impossible to change. We were supposed to turn that over to God and let Him do his Godly thing with our requests. So, guess what I prayed for? I prayed for Dr. G, not really expecting anything. Because, really, not even God can deal with an insurance mess, right? About two months later my employer went through open enrollment, and guess what?! Yes! The plan changed. Dr. G was once again covered, and for the next year, I was to have the best insurance I have had to in my life.

So, the conversation about Baby #2 resumed. We would once again try for a summer baby. You know that works great with a teacher's schedule. I was already job sharing at that time. My partner's husband was going to take sabbatical that year and they were leaving for Spain in December. My administrator agreed to let me take over full-time for the rest-of the school year, and then return to the job share, after a child care leave. I'd work full time and we'd bank that money, creating a small safety net. Well, funny how life works, isn't it.

We found out I was pregnant in early July. Add nine months to that and it's not summer. So, my full time stint fell through. The decision was made that I would continue to job share with a sub, after my partner left, and the sub would take over after I left in April. There goes the financial safety net.

So, I was pregnant and, yup, I was sicker than a dog. No, not throwing up. Nauseous. There were days I couldn't move my head because the world would spin and I'd get so dizzy. All I wanted during those dark moments was a bed and a dark room. I started showing a lot earlier than I did with Isaac. Twins run in my family, so I asked a nurse at one of my early appointments about the possibility of this being a twin pregnancy. I vividly remember being told that every pregnancy is different. And, two heartbeats had not been picked up. Plus all my friends told me that pregnant women "popped" earlier the second time around. So - check, it's not twins. Ha! In hindsight no one ever checked for a second heartbeat.

I continued to get bigger and bigger. Steve and I noticed that this baby moved... a lot! It was amazing to watch how the "baby" could move from one side to the other so quickly! Little did we know.

We went to the ultrasound at 24 weeks in a blissfully ignorant state. As the ultrasound tech started the checking things out, I asked if she could tell if we had a boy or a girl. I will never forget the response. She said, "Well, we'll have to determine the gender to determine if they are identical or fraternal. " I could see the two heads and I could hear the words that had just been spoken, but none of it registered until the conversation about "two babies" continued. We walked into that ultrasound wondering if we had a Samuel or a Lola. We left knowing we had both.

I remember crying and thinking that we'd have to get the van I didn't want to drive . Steve thought he'd have to put that fence up around the yard, a project he'd been dreading. All of sudden I was listed as a "high risk" pregnancy. I was allowed to work until Christmas break and put on bed rest at 30 weeks. While I wasn't able to bank that extra money, that fabulous insurance I had paid for everything, including chiropractic care and massage. I found I had enough sick leave to cover my work until the end of the school year. On paper, though, our financial state was not good. Once we found out it was two babies, we had decided that it didn't make sense for me to go back to teaching. Yes, I was freaking out. Somebody told me that when you face a situation that is so beyond you that you don't even know where and how to begin handling it, that you should just throw it up to God and ask Him to surprise you with His solution. So, that is what we did. We didn't know what to do. We needed help.

Sam and Lola were born six minutes apart the morning of February 20th 2002. Lola Isabel was 5 lbs 5 oz. and Samuel James was 6 lbs and 11 oz. Yes, Dr. G was there as I delivered them in the Operating Room. No, I did not have a c-section. Lola was born first and whisked away so her brother could have his turn. I got to hold Sammy right away. Then I got Loli

Did we fall apart and go bankrupt. No. Well we didn't go bankrupt. I think we may have fallen apart for awhile, but I don't really remember all that much about the first year. We had angels coming to us from every direction. Friends and family from near and far took care of us. We were able to buy that van I didn't want, but grew to love. It even had two sliding doors - a big deal at that time. We also bought a bigger house. Sam and Lola celebrated their first birthday on Library Lane. How we did any of that, I don't really know. Well, what I do know is that we really didn't do any of that. God took care of us. He answered our prayers. He blessed us beyond measure with two additional amazing children, and then He took care of all of us.

Lola is our only girl. She is named after my paternal grandmother and my mother. She looks like her dad with her blond hair and her blue eyes. She's athletic, quick witted, and incredibly funny. She was right on at age three when she would say, "My smart, my fast, my funny!" She is all those things and so much more.

Samuel means "heard by God." James is also Grandpa Jerry's middle name. My Samuel is athletic, strong, and very smart. He also has one of the most generous and gentle spirits of anyone I know. He knows when to kick ass and he knows when to wrap his arms around me and tell me he loves me. Beware the girl that ever breaks his heart.

I love these two wildly... passionately. I need them. I thank God every single day for them. We chose Samuel's name right. God heard our prayer and answered it abundantly. I love you Loli. I love you Sammy. Thank you for being you, and for the privilege of being your mom.